{"id":283,"date":"2010-04-10T22:10:09","date_gmt":"2010-04-10T21:10:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/agile.sk\/?p=283"},"modified":"2010-04-10T22:10:09","modified_gmt":"2010-04-10T21:10:09","slug":"scrum-norris-scrum-v-podani-legendy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/agile.sk\/?p=283","title":{"rendered":"Scrum Norris &#8211; SCRUM v podan\u00ed legendy :)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Ned\u00e1vno som narazil na \u00fa\u017easn\u00fa zbierku <a title=\"SCRUM\u00e1ckych ChuckNorrisoviek\" href=\"http:\/\/blog.shino.de\/2010\/02\/20\/scrum-norris\/\" target=\"_blank\">SCRUM\u00e1ck\u00fdch Chuck Norrisoviek<\/a>.. celkom slu\u0161n\u00fd \u00fatok na br\u00e1nicu \ud83d\ude42<br \/>\nMa\u0165 tak v t\u00edme Chucka..<\/p>\n<p>Enjoy \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Chuck Norris is ScrumMaster and ProductOwner \u2013 simultaneously.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris can do 6-month sprints.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris wears Timeboxershorts.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris does not move story cards, he moves the taskboard.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris does not estimate, he knows.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris pairs alone.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris starts project with a Roundhouse-Kickoff.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris is allowed to appear late at the stand-up.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris sits on the stand-up meeting.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris has implemented everything at the planning meeting.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris does not estimate user stories, user stories estimate  him. (This doesn\u2019t translate well.)<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris writes the code first, then the test.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris is not afraid of bugs, bugs are afraid of him.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris does not do Kanban. He does not know limits.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris does not pull, he pushes.<\/li>\n<li>When Chuck Norris says \u201cdone\u201d, then it\u2019s \u201cdone\u201d.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris does not deploy, he develops on the production  environment.<\/li>\n<li>Just Chuck Norris knows, that a real burn-down requires napalm.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris has no burn-down chart. Around him everything is  already burnt down.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris answers just two questions on the stand-up meeting.  Chuck Norris does not know obstacles.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris does not prioritize the backlog.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris takes two baby-steps at once.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris does not use test-driven development. Chuck Norris  always drives.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris is the prioritized backlog.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris is ScrumMaster without being certified.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris does not need acceptance tests. Either Chuck Norris  accepts or not.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris does not need Iteration Reviews or Reflection  Workshops. There is no improvement for Chuck Norris\u2019 process.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris\u2019 unit tests pass, before he has written the code.<\/li>\n<li>Tests doesn\u2019t fail in front of Chuck Norris<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris writes the code first, never the test(He doesn\u2019t need  to test at all).<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris always wins at Planning Poker.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris can keep silent to small-size efforts.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris does not need a reference task.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris doesn\u2019t do iterative development, it\u2019s right first time,  forever.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris does not plan to release. Chuck Norris knows what to  do.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris has a velocity of 50 000 points.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris ends the Product Backlog in each iteration.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris sidekicks chickens while eating fresh bacon at the stand-up<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris developed his own crib in one iteration, right after birth<\/li>\n<li>When Chuck Norris walks by, tests don\u2019t run, they die in fear<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris\u2019 velocity is infinite, he can run around the world and  punch himself in the back of the head.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck doesn&#8217;t meet customer requirements, they meet his!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n<!-- Facebook Like Button v1.9.6 BEGIN [http:\/\/blog.bottomlessinc.com] -->\n<iframe src=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/plugins\/like.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fagile.sk%2F%3Fp%3D283&amp;layout=standard&amp;show_faces=false&amp;width=450&amp;action=like&amp;colorscheme=light\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"0\" allowTransparency=\"true\" style=\"border:none; overflow:hidden; width:450px; height: 30px; align: left; margin: 20px 0px 2px 0px\"><\/iframe>\n<!-- Facebook Like Button END -->\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ned\u00e1vno som narazil na \u00fa\u017easn\u00fa zbierku SCRUM\u00e1ck\u00fdch Chuck Norrisoviek.. celkom slu\u0161n\u00fd \u00fatok na br\u00e1nicu \ud83d\ude42 Ma\u0165 tak v t\u00edme Chucka.. Enjoy \ud83d\ude09 Chuck Norris is ScrumMaster and ProductOwner \u2013 simultaneously. Chuck Norris can do 6-month sprints. Chuck Norris wears Timeboxershorts. Chuck Norris does not move story cards, he moves the taskboard. Chuck Norris does not [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[14,6],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/agile.sk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/283"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/agile.sk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/agile.sk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agile.sk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agile.sk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=283"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/agile.sk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/283\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":294,"href":"https:\/\/agile.sk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/283\/revisions\/294"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/agile.sk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=283"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agile.sk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=283"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agile.sk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=283"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}